First Kiss - Dealing with the Anxiety

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Getting close to landing your first kiss? Are you overwhelmed with stress? If the answer is yes, then you must read this article. It will slash your anxiety in half.

1) Eliminate Expectations Don't expect to set the world on fire with your first kiss. Instead, decide that you just want to give a normal 10 second kiss. Shooting for a realistic goal will lower your stress considerably. 2) Remember that you'll get a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th + chance. Once that initial kiss is made, you guys will do it a hundred more times. You'll be so relieved and thrilled to be kissing, that you'll want to do it all the time. So, if you screw up a little on your first kiss, don't sweat it. You'll get another chance to do it better...probably within the hour.

3) It's probably their first kiss, too Don't expect to be judged on your performance. If they haven't kissed anyone before, either, you can be damn sure that they're also stressing about it. In fact, after you guys pull apart from your first kiss, it's likely they'll be so busy wondering "Am I doing this right", that they won't stop to consider whether you did it right.

4) They want you to kiss them Go ahead and assume that the person you're dating wants to kiss you. Obviously, they're physically attracted to you. Otherwise, they wouldn't be dating you. It's only natural for them to want you in a more physical way. Of course, they want to kiss you.

5) Think positive thoughts Psyche yourself up. Think how happy you'll be once you land that first kiss. Think of all the hours of making out that will be going on after you get the first kiss over with. Think how great it's going to feel. Don't delay this ecstasy any longer.

6) Billions of people kiss every day A kiss is a normal everyday thing for several billion people. Your mom and dad, neighbors, and other people all over the world kiss all the time, so what's the big deal? If they can do it, why can't you? If it's no big deal to dinosaurs like your parents and grandparents, why should you have a problem with it?

7) Visualize it Try to picture how it's going to go down. When you go to bed at night, close your eyes and try to imagine how you're going to make your approach, how you're going to hold them, etc. The more you visualize this moment, the more comfortable and stress free you'll be when the time comes to do it for real.

8) Practice it in your room...seriously Physically go through the motions that you visualized in the previous step. Practice walking up to your sweetie, practice what you're going to say (and in what tone of voice), and practice leaning in. You can even practice kissing your hand. Believe it or not, but these techniques actually work. Going through the motions will prepare you for the real thing.

Todd Peterson is the editor of the popular teen community HighWorld.com

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What Your Anxiety Symptoms Are Really Telling You?

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Are you suffering from the gnawing nagging feeling of overwhelming unsettled emotional discomfort? Is it effecting your self-esteem and motivation?

Most are familiar with the general anxiety disorders that can be triggered by fears, impending doom, obsessive-compulsive, post-traumatic stress and more. But what about other not so obvious things that raise apprehension and uneasiness that you can't explain?

What is at the root of your anxiety symptom? It may be buried deeply in your subconscious, but most likely you are just not currently aware of the cause. There are many possible things that can be the source of the disharmony leading to undesirable emotional feelings. What do you feel that you can't cope with? Does it relate to the general condition of your life?

What if you are feeling anxious because deep inside you know that you are not thinking and acting in ways that support your core self? You may not even be consciously aware of what is truly important to you, but your incongruent behavior is causing internal friction that your emotions are responding to. Not being aware of why you feel the way you do supports the anxiety, you feel powerless and unsure. But why are you uncertain?

It is normally based on your perception and subsequent interpretation of something. There can be some subtle things that are the cause of stress and anxiety.

Here are 5 places to look for some possible root causes of your anxiety symptom:

1) Personal integrity is compromised -- Are some of your thoughts and behavior not in alignment with your most important values? This situation can be tough to detect until you look for it, as you may not be clearly aware of your deep values. If there is a conflict between your behavior and your deepest core values you will feel emotionally unsettled. Your thoughts and actions must be congruent with your deepest values in order to feel harmonious.

2) Less than honest interactions -- Are you less than honest and forthright in your interactions with others? If you are living even small lies you may be fooling some of the people some of the time, but never yourself. Deep within, you know what's going on and your inner self will let you know when something is not right. However, if you are not aware of your inner thoughts and feelings you may not be sure what your anxious feelings are based on.

3) Cheating Your Potential -- Are you not utilizing all of your potential? Do you make excuses for not using all your potential? Are you full of reasons and justifications in an attempt to feel right about your less than full effort? You know this inside; you can't cheat yourself and get away with it. When you are consciously not aware of it you can feel out of control without knowing why. Not utilizing your full potential can be stressful and anxiety symptoms will come from your feeling not in control.

4) Stuck in the Procrastination trap -- You know that you are not getting done what you want to get done and what you are capable of doing, but can't seem to do anything about it. Also you become unsure that you can do anything about it since you have not been able to up to this point. When you get stuck in this cycle the frustration with yourself can turn into anxiety, as you don't know what is behind it, plus worrying whether you can ever change it.

5) Fearing your future without knowing why -- This relates to the first four items, in that if any of the above conditions are present you can easily feel unsure of your future. Facing the future with self confidence requires that you be well grounded in who you are and in touch with your potential. Not being secure and feeling unsure whether you can do anything about it is stressful and can lead to anxiety.

Stress and anxiety can go hand in hand as you are continuously aware of your feelings of uncertainty and the resulting fears. It can even be the cause of depression if the situation seems like it's hopeless.

The key is to root out these base causes of your emotional feelings, reassess them and change your perception to better align with the life you want.

Anxiety symptoms are red flags your inner referee is throwing up to notify you that something is not right, out of balance. If you let it go, just like a physical ailment, it gets worse and becomes more and more established. These self-concepts originated from some perceived need to protect or satisfy in some way. Since you are feeling unsettled, they are likely no longer supporting your best interest. Your inner self is making you aware of an opportunity to change for the better.

To discover what the sources of your stress and anxiety are and what were the benefits, ask yourself some probing questions to peel open your thoughts. Once your thoughts are revealed, then reassess and establish a new perception and interpretation of the situation or idea.

Start with a blank tablet and a pen or pencil. Get yourself calm and relaxed. Write the first question at the top, then without thinking write what ever thoughts come up without analyzing or judging -- just write. For example --

~Why am I feeling this way?

~What is my biggest fear in life?

~What is the worse that could happen regarding this fear?

~Why do I fear this?

~How can I think differently about this that will better serve me today?

~What am I most uncertain about today?

~Why am I uncertain about this?

~What benefit do or did I get from thinking this way?

~Do I need to continue thinking this way?

~What can I learn from this?

~What is a better way of looking at this?

Asking questions of yourself may not be easy at first, as your mind is not accustomed to thinking in this fashion. But with diligence, you will learn to allow your thinking to open up revealing much more about yourself than you were previously aware of, but it's there.

Also useful method to help to reveal your inner thoughts is to meditate on it. Meditation helps to calm and quiet the surface chatter that keeps you distracted and separated from your inner thoughts, allowing for their rediscovery.

Another beneficial self-improvement activity is to clarify, establish and define a solid foundation for yourself. Just as a tall building cannot be stable without a strong foundation, neither can a successful life. You can solidify your place in the universe, discover your purpose, align with intention, and establish a vision and a personal mission. You can clarify your core values, your potential, your strengths and how you will support your purpose.

With establishing a solid foundation for yourself you will elevate your self-concept, self-esteem, self-confidence and self-motivation --it's how to relieve stress, anxiety and depression. You will be able to grow and change without excessive fear, doubt and worry.

Continuous self-improvement with a positive attitude leads to happiness, positive thinking and unlimited possibility.

John Halderman

John Halderman

Design A Life System

Stop collecting unused information! Discover why books don't help your life success -- leaving you stuck with a false sense of improvement! Time to DO something! Fill the VOID between information and dynamic results. Kick your life into high gear with free "Effective Personal Development" Newsletter and 40-page free report revealing secrets to daily growth and change. http://www.designalifesystem.com

Stop Anxiety - Master Your Environment

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You have felt it come over you... the sense of your body overreacting. The knots in the stomach, the tenseness, the rapid heartbeat, the uncomfortable feeling of panic. You have those anxiety attacks, big and small, and you would like to have the control to stop them. You can get that control. You can master your body and its reactions. Just like you have learned to do any of the many things you've learned in your life, you can learn how to control and eliminate the causes of anxiety.

RESOURCE GUIDE - http://stop-anxiety.5x1.net

Anxiety is a fear reaction triggered by environmental conditions. Somewhere along the way in your life you met conditions that left you uncomfortable. You remember the conditions of that bad time and your brain has stored that combination of events and memories. That brain stored reaction is triggered when conditions arise that have been linked to that prior time.

Your brain is trying to protect you, but in many cases it has inappropriately linked events and memories and fear together in a mix that creates anxiety at the wrong time. You have to do some work to untangle that bad mix in your head. This can be done by you, once you're shown how. It's just like learning how to swing a golf club, drive a car, or do a dance.

It's a question of knowledge and practice. When you learn what to do and then how to do it you can solve problems and do things that you couldn't do the day before. Take a look at the Resource Guide link that is shown above to get direct information to help you.

We are all sensitive beings. That's part of being human. That sensitivity gives us the openings to enjoy the many beautiful and thrilling things in the world. But our brain is not perfect at putting events and memories together. Sometimes our brain tries to protect us and help us, but has actually created a mixed up grouping that triggers anxiety at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. We can fix that. You can fix that. Just like you can learn to play the piano or ride a bike, you can guide your brain and body to learn in ways useful to you. You can also guide your brain and body to overcome reactions or habits that are not serving you well. Anxiety attacks tell you that your brain and body have developed a reaction that is not helpful to you. It's like having a bad swing in golf. The wrong combinations got embedded. You can work that out and get yourself back to where you want to be. It takes knowledge of what to do and then some practice to get right.

Take advantage of the knowledge available to you to reduce or eliminate your anxiety. The Resource Guide link is one proven method that you can use to reduce your anxiety. If anxiety is bothering you and you want to do something about it, you can. Anxiety can be overcome.

You'll enjoy life more when you've cleared out the bad combination of emotion, environment and fear that is causing you to suffer anxiety. Do you want to enjoy life more? Well, sometimes you've got to make the effort to get what you want. Here's the knowledge to reduce anxiety and eliminate that from your life. If you want to eliminate anxiety, take it. The knowledge and freedom can be yours. It's a walk in the park. A nice one at that.

Note to Publishers: You may freely republish this article in print and online provided you do not edit or alter the contents, and you include the About the Author bio as is. When published online the links must be kept hyperlink active.

William T. Gray writes on a variety of health, wealth and personal relationship topics. His articles are widely published. See http://stop-anxiety.5x1.net for more information.

Anxiety: A Very Real Threat to a Happy Life

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Anxiety is the most frequently occurring mental health disorder in the United States, according to the US Surgeon General. There are millions of people who are diagnosed with it every year. A small amount of anxiety helps to get us going, but when it becomes more severe, it can be overwhelming. If you start feeling like it's more than it should be, you may want to visit a doctor for a clinical diagnosis. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) has estimated that 19 million Americans aged 18 to 54 suffer from anxiety disorder every year.

Fear is generally the basis for anxiety disorders. All of us have felt its tingle before we do something that makes us nervous, such as making a public speech or going out on a first date. When that feeling becomes more constant and starts to invade our daily lives, then it has become a disorder and it's time to get some help.

One of the most familiar and studied forms of anxiety disorder is the panic attack. The patient usually feels his or her heart race and also pain or pressure in the chest. Generalized anxiety disorder is another of the more commonly diagnosed forms. It manifests as constant worry that is beyond normal bounds. Other symptoms include a lengthy event lasting six months or longer, muscle tension, difficulty staying focused on a subject, trouble sleeping, and feeling continuously irritated. Panic attacks don't usually result from general anxiety disorder, but it can still make life difficult. That type of worry is exhausting, takes away interest in one's life, and can cause mood swings. Some other anxiety disorders include social anxiety, obsessive compulsive behavior, various phobias, and post- traumatic stress syndrome.

Diagnosing these disorders is not easy as they incorporate brain functions and there is still a lot to be learned about them. No one in the medical profession has yet learned why a particular person's fear response is amplified so much more than another's. Researchers do know that five neurotransmitters become disturbed in these disorders and medications have been developed to treat them. They include anti-depressants and anti- anxiety drugs.

Thankfully there are a number of options for treating and even curing anxiety disorders. Western medicine relies on medications and psychotherapy. Some people see two practitioners: a psychologist to counsel with, and a psychiatrist for prescription medication. This combination of treatments can be quite effective. Tranquilizers from the class called "benzodiazepines" are often prescribed and often work quite well. Some of these brand names are Xanax, Valium, and Ativan and they help those suffering from panic and anxiety. Most of these aren't to be used for the long-term. Anti-depressants have proven more effective for those with acute anxiety disorders. The best ones seem to be the selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI) s. Some of these are Celexa, Zoloft, Prozac, and Paxil.

There are a number of alternative medicines being practiced today and some people prefer not to take pharmaceuticals. If you are in this category it may take trial and error as well as time and patience to find relief. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is an approach that zeroes in on the thought processes that cause us to worry. Its goal is to help separate realistic thoughts from those that are overblown. Some other things to try are relaxation training, desensitization, breathing, meditating, acupuncture, homeopathy, and biofeedback. Massage therapy, chiropractics, and just walking can also be of help.

Nansia Ressi is the editor of Pharmacy Lane,
LLP - a guide to pharmaceutical resources on the internet. To read more of Nansia's work, please visit: http://www.pharmacylane.com

Anxiety and Depression Treatment

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Anxiety and Depression are the forms of behavioral disorders that affect the life of an individual very badly. Anxiety is a form of an emotional disturbance which is caused due to imbalance in the body system of a person. On the other hand, Depression is a psychological problem that is caused by chemical imbalance inside the brain. In order to keep a check over these behavioral and emotional disorders, one needs a proper treatment.

Anxiety and Depression can not be fully cured. Though, they can be treated with the help of a proper medication and psychological treatment. Lots of therapies can also be brought out for the proper treatment of Anxiety and Depression. The medical practitioners hold various sessions to understand the mental condition of the patient and then proceed to give an appropriate medical aid to the patient.

Anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and other medications aimed at alleviating symptoms are helpful in treating Anxiety. When the treatment fails in the case of Depression, then Electroconvulsive Therapy has been able to provide the necessary treatment. Even the self-help support groups' help the patients by making them sit with others and hear the other joyous experiences to get out the situation.

The psychological treatment of Anxiety and Depression consists of various forms of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. This therapy is the most scientifically supported psychological treatment for Anxiety and Depression.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy combines two effective types of psychotherapy: Cognitive Therapy and Behavior Therapy. The goal of Behavior Therapy is to weaken the connections between troublesome situations and ones habitual reactions to them. And the aim of Cognitive Therapy is focused on how certain thinking patterns cause or increase emotional reactions. This is an effective form of treatment for Anxiety and Depression.

Online entrepreneur Sara Jenkins, is dedicated to helping others and their needs to succeed in life by offering free tips everyday. To learn more about her free tips program, and to sign up for her FREE how-to articles and FREE bonus how-to books and resources, visit www.TipsEveryDay.com

Anxiety & Panic Disorder - Signals That May Suggest You are suffering

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Of course I am in no way condoning that you make a self diagnosis, as I strongly believe you should visit your doctor for a correct diagnosis. However I will show you a few warning signs that may signal that you have an Anxiety or Panic Disorder.

Firstly, these are a list of symptoms you may feel (but not limited to);

Abdominal discomfort
Diarrhea
Dry mouth
Rapid heartbeat or palpitations
Tightness or pain in chest
Shortness of breath
Dizziness
Frequent urination
Difficulty swallowing/lump in throat
Nausea
Hot flushes or Chills
Headaches
Muscles tension/aches
Fatigue
Visual Disturbances
Psychological symptoms:
Insomnia
Irritability or anger
Inability to concentrate / mind going blank
Fear of madness
Depersonalization
Easily frightened
Fear of dying
Feeling on edge
Lose of sex drive

You will usually feel a combination of a few of these symptoms at any one time. The most common symptoms of Anxiety & Panic Disorder being; racing heart/palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness and fear of dying.

As you can see, from the large list of symptoms (and not limited to this list) it is extremely important that you have proper test run by your doctor, as these symptoms can be from a large variety of illnesses.

If you are experiencing some of these symptoms, your doctor will most likely run tests such as (but not limited to): Blood work, ECG Holter Monitor Echocardiogram (if youre experiencing palpitations or chest pain), chest x-ray (especially with chest pain and shortness of breathe), he may want a urine sample and ultra-sounds (often with abdominal pain).

Questions you can also ask yourself (as your doctor will most likely ask you when you visit him);

Do you feel anxious before you feel these sensations?
Do you feel panicked?
What stresses do you have in your life?

Anxiety and Panic Disorder can stem from many of things. An example of some;

Work stresses
Family stresses
Money worries
School stresses
Drug abuse
Alcohol abuse
Health issues
A traumatic event from the past has resurfaced

Over a period of time, you find yourself obsessing over your health. Waiting on edge for every little pain or twitch you feel, and eventually it takes over and runs your life.

These sensations/pains that you are feeling can manifest itself into any shape or form. And some sufferers will seek comfort in drinking alcohol just for the sake of a few hours without the sensations and fears. These drinking binges usually contribute to the anxiety increasing the next day. Keeping the vicious cycle alive and prolonging your wellness.

Now the good news is, if you have been diagnosed with Anxiety & Panic Disorder, youre obviously NOT dying of a deadly disease. Secondly, you can overcome this and regain control of your life. And it doesnt consist of taking medication.

My doctor told me Jo, you will never get well again without medication. I proved my doctor wrong I did get well, and it was without medication. And so can you!!!

If you think you might be developing an anxiety or Panic Disorder, go see your doctor for a proper diagnosis and start getting informed. The quicker you nip this on the butt the quicker you can get on with your day to day life. Instead of it being a constant battle.

A special note to the long term sufferers out there, once you over come this, you will be mentally much stronger then most of the people around you! You wont take your health or your life for granted and you will live each moment to maximum.

http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com

About the Author - Joanne King is a former sufferer of Anxiety & Panic Attacks. She is the author of two books "How to Overcome Anxiety & Panic Attacks" & "How to Overcome Anxiety When Approaching Women" She has helped other sufferers Worldwide to eliminate their Anxiety & Panic. http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com