Outstanding Presentations Start In The Mind: Five Presentation Skills Secrets For Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

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Public speaking presents such a challenge for many people. In the Book of Lists, public speaking anxiety and making a presentation constitute the number one fear; the fear of dying is number two. Like the old saying goes, ?People would rather be in the grave than make a presentation.? You see people sweat, shake, and quiver while they are speaking. Sometimes, employees bypass promotions, and business owners bypass business opportunities rather than give a presentation. I saw a manager who was on the corporate fast track quickly become derailed because she couldn?t complete her presentation in front of senior management.

So what do great speakers do to prepare themselves to be great presenters? They prepare their minds to give a great presentation. That?s right; it all starts in your mind. How can you develop a great speaker?s mindset and start giving outstanding presentations? The following are five secrets for powerful public speaking:

1. Believe It So That You Can Achieve It

I am approached by people who say, ?I can?t speak in public,? ?I am a bad speaker,? or ?I could never speak in public.? Without hearing them speak, I say, ?You?re right.? Because once you make those negative statements, they become self-fulfilling prophesies. When you say, ?I am a bad speaker,? your subconscious mind is thinking, ?Well, he or she said it, so it must be true; so I will act like a bad speaker.? Positive speaking attitude (PSA) is one of the first things I work on during my presentation coachings. Replace the negative speaking attitude with a PSA to master your self talk and improve your presentation skills. Instead of saying, ?I am a bad speaker,? say the following:

* ?I am improving my public speaking abilities everyday in everyway.?

* ?Every opportunity to make a presentation is an opportunity for success.?

* ?I am a good public speaker today; and, with continued practice, I will be a better public speaker tomorrow.?

* ?I am mastering my presentation skills everyday!?

When you make these positive affirmations, your subconscious mind hears it and says, ?Yeah, I am improving,? or ?Let me speak because it is an opportunity for success,? or ?I am mastering my speaking skills.?

Manage your self talk for a PSA. You will feel a new confident attitude concerning public speaking.

2. Think About What You Want to Accomplish

I will ask the question, ?What do you want to accomplish with your presentation?? Many times I will be on the receiving end of a blank stare or the student might say, ?I just want them to listen to me.?

Take time to think about what you want to accomplish by giving your presentation. Is it that you want to entertain the audience, do you want to persuade them on an important issue, or maybe you want the audience to take action after hearing your presentation. Going into your presentation knowing what you want to accomplish creates focus and is a big confidence builder.

3. Visualize Success

Recently, I had the opportunity to speak at an association conference with over five thousand people in the audience. Joy, my wife, was sitting in the audience with our friend Jim who came to hear me speak for the first time. As I was about to speak, Jim leaned over and asked Joy if I was nervous speaking in front of such a large group of people. Without blinking an eye, Joy said, ?He was born for this day. He saw this day coming when he first started speaking.?

I visualized that day long before it happened. Whenever I give a presentation, I take time to visualize a successful presentation and positive outcome. The more details I include in my visualizations, the more vivid and real it becomes for me. The night before the presentation I will find a quiet place at home or, if I am on the road, a hotel room, and meditate to start the visualization process. I will visualize my drive to the event, greeting the host and audience, and how my powerful presentation will sound and look on that day. I will also visualize the audience?s positive response to the presentation.

Take time to visualize the details of giving a great presentation. Like the old saying goes, ?Fake it ?til you make it.? If you visualize you are a great speaker, you will take the steps and create opportunities for yourself to become a great speaker.

Visualize that the audience wants to hear your message and they want you to do well. Remember, it?s their time also and they want to receive value out of your speech.

4. Own the Room

Whenever I speak, I ?own the room.? I mentally tell myself that for the next thirty minutes, hour, etc., I own the room. The corporation, association, or government may own the building or venue I am speaking in, but during the time I am speaking, I am the owner of the room and the audience will be my guests, my friends. That way I am always in control to give an outstanding presentation.

Think of your speaking area as your house, your home, your castle. When you invite friends into your home, aren?t you in control and want to provide a safe, entertaining environment for your guests? The same is true for your speaking audience; you want to provide a safe, entertaining, and enriching experience for them.

I always say, ?Giving presentations is not about me, it?s about you (the audience).? What I mean is that if I am constantly thinking about how I sound, look, and feel while I speak, I am not thinking about what I can share with my audience. Concentrate on the value you will give to your audience members and you will never go wrong.

5. Eat the Elephant

Many times I hear the following:

?I could never speak in front of a group of people, but one-on-one I am fine.?

Well, I ask, ?How do you eat the elephant?? Break the elephant into smaller pieces. It is the same when you ?digest? the audience. Don?t think of the audience as a whole, think of the audience as individuals ready to hear your message. Concentrate on thinking of your audience as individuals, and your message will come across that way to the individual audience members.

Follow these five secrets for creating a positive mindset for confident public speaking. Overcoming your public speaking anxiety will improve your presentation skills and create new opportunities for you through public speaking.

Ed Sykes is a professional speaker, author, and coach in the areas of presentation skills, leadership, motivation, stress management, customer service, and team building. You can e-mail him at mailto:esykes@thesykesgrp.com, or call him at (757) 427-7032. Go to his web site, http://www.thesykesgrp.com, and signup for the newsletter, OnPoint.

 

Quiz - Do You Get Anxiety Attacks?

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Anxiety is very common. Fear, worry, anxiety, unease are all very common feelings. Anxiety attacks are not very common, but many of us suffer from anxiety attacks. Are you one of them? Let us find out.

What are anxiety attacks? An immediate onset of great amount of anxiety suddenly is an anxiety attack. Most of the anxiety attacks have physical symptoms. Let me give you an example. Say you have to deliver lecture tomorrow in front of an audience of thousand people. You will get anxious about that and remain so all through the night. But when you reach the podium, you may get the anxiety attack despite all the preparation. Most of us get such attacks. The situation may be different for all of us. There rare cases where people get anxiety attacks if they have to talk to someone of opposite sex.

Why do we get anxiety attacks? The causes of such attacks are mainly rooted in our ancestry. Our ancestors were taught by nature to save themselves by running away from any danger if they could not fight it. We have inherited those genes. Though we do not face fierce animals in jungles, we face situations that make us equally scary and we want to runaway, but unlike our ancestors we cannot run away in social situations.

The other reasons may include some incidents of childhood, that are carried to the adulthood or other psychological reasons that are better diagnosed by a medical professional. If anxiety attacks are damaging your social and work life, get treated. In case of normal attacks that you feel you can manage yourself deep breathing may help.

CD Mohatta writes for ecards, screensavers and wallpapers. The topics of his writings include love, inspiration, holidays, birthdays etc. You can view free wallpapers, send free greetings and solve fun quizzes on personality.

The Condition of Anxiety

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We have all experienced the sensation of being "called into action" by nervousness. It creates an increased feeling of excitement and it acts to heighten our realizations. Nervousness is a normal condition that serves to make us more aware and focused.

Anxiety differs from nervousness because it often occurs for no apparent reason and is persistent. It does not promote positive response to circumstance. If not recognized and dealt with effectively, anxiety will interfere with daily life and may even become chronic.

Anxiety may lead to avoidance of places or situations where it has occurred. This includes avoidance of any similar circumstances due to a process of negative association. The effect of this kind of association to the experience of anxiety can severely distort an individual's decision-making abilities. The perceived risk of having another attack may even prevent them from engaging in beneficial activity.

In an attempt to understand what anxiety is, or why it has occurred, a person may repeatedly go to an emergency room or see several doctors. Some people may go for years without understanding what they are experiencing and live in constant fear as a result of their own unknowingness.

Some of the most well known classifications of anxiety include; Panic Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsiveness, Post-Traumatic Stress and various Phobias. The following will provide some insight into these classifications.

Panic:

Panic is a feeling of terror and is often referred to as an "attack." A person who experiences this type of anxiety may report any or all of the following symptoms:

* A pounding heart
* Feeling sweaty, weak, faint or dizzy
* Tingling or numbness of their hands
* Flushed or chilled sensations of their body
* Nausea
* Chest pain
* Smothering sensations
* A sense of loss of reality or control
* Fear of impending doom
* Thoughts that they are experiencing a heart attack
* Feeling as though they are losing their mind
* Fearing that they are on the verge of death

Obsessive-Compulsiveness:

A person dealing with Obsessive-Compulsiveness feels unable to control their thoughts, urges or activities. The term Obsessive refers to the disturbing thoughts or images while Compulsiveness refers to the behaviors or rituals performed. Some examples of this type of anxiety include:

* Being obsessed with germs, causing a person to repeatedly wash their hands
* Frequent thoughts of violence, causing a person to fear that they will harm others
* Spending long periods of time touching things or counting
* Being pre-occupied by order or symmetry
* Having persistent thoughts of performing sexual acts that they find repulsive
* Having thoughts that are against their religious beliefs

Post Traumatic Stress:

Post Traumatic Stress is associated with an event that the individual has experienced. A person may have persistent frightening thoughts and memories of the event. They may feel emotionally numb toward people they were once close to. This type of anxiety may also include any or all of the following:

* Nightmares and disturbing recollections
* Sleep problems
* Feelings of detachment
* Being easily startled
* Loss of interest in usual activities
* Difficulty with affection
* Irritability
* Aggressiveness or even violence
* Avoidance of certain places or situations that could trigger memories

Phobias:

Phobias are a type of anxiety that are experienced as overwhelming and excessive fear. Phobic reactions include:

* Uncontrollable fear
* Profuse sweating
* Trembling
* Nausea
* Difficulty talking
* Fatigue
* Headaches
* Muscle aches
* Difficulty swallowing
* Irritability
* Hot flashes
* Lightheadedness
* Inability to concentrate

Help with Anxiety:

Many people suffering with anxiety can benefit by sharing their problems with others. This can be accomplished by talking with friends or attending support groups. There are many professionals who can help. Involvement with a like-minded online community would also be beneficial, as it would allow for an avenue of self-expression. It would also help to decrease one's sense of isolation. In addition to certain medications, which may be prescribed for the treatment of anxiety, learning how to relax and meditate can help improve coping ability and provide increased feelings of self control.

Nicole D. Huff, R.N. is the founder of Current Day LLC, a holistic health organization. She is also the site administrator of CurrentDay Health & Healing. A community based web site dedicated to providing individuals with holistic health and healing support, advice and information. Visit the site today at www.currentday.com

Performance Anxiety

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Performance anxiety is experienced by a large number of people. There can be different reasons of anxiety. Anxiety may be due to some big reason or some small reason. Anxiety can result if you are worried about your performance. A true Psychological disorder or just a small twinge can be the outcome of performance anxiety.

Symptoms

Performance anxiety is quite a common phenomenon. More or less everyone has undergone performance anxiety in his or her lifetime. The common symptoms one faces during performance anxiety is usually damp hands, a feeling of fear in the pit of stomach, cramps, sweating, and nausea are just a few of them. As a result of anxiety one tends to become more nervous and jittery since anxiety leads to fear.

Hesitant to perform upon being called is a chief symptom of performance anxiety. For example when you are reluctant to accept a promotion or participate in some activity in fear of possible humiliation. If you feel your performance is taking a toll on yourself then you might as well seek some professional help.

Coping and Treatment

If your Performance Anxiety is bothering you, there are ways of coping. For people who have manageable anxiety levels, simply socializing more and performing more can help to alleviate or make your fear and anxiety disappear, as you become familiar with performing and it becomes no longer a feared unknown. There are also organizations like Toastmasters International that can help you improve your public speaking so that if your anxiety was linked to your inexperience with speaking in front of groups, then you can learn the techniques that will help you excel at it.

Glossophobia is that stage when your performance anxiety has reached to an unmanageable stage. It is derived from the Greek words glosso- meaning tongue, and -phobia, meaning fear or dread. If you are a victim of glossophoboia then it is recommended that you take professional help. That way your actual condition will be assessed properly and the professional helper can guide you towards the most suitable course of action. The best treatments may be common medications like Valium, Xanax, Celexa, Zoloft, and Paxil or therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy. In this type of therapy the patient undergoes counseling with the health professional. Even if your performance anxiety has to reached to an advanced stage, treatments like medications and therapies always help.

Causes

No solid reason for experiencing Performance anxiety has been presented by the psychological community. Many people can suffer from Performance anxiety owing to some past experiences. One may suffer from performance anxiety out of the fear of the real life situation. Anxiety can be hereditary as well or it may be caused due to chemical imbalances. Only after you find out the actual reason to your anxiety you can be cured completely. Undergoing treatments medication and therapy, research has showed that many people suffering from performance anxiety disorders have been cured within a short period of time. There may be many people who don?t have a serious anxiety problem can take help from non profit organizations like Toast masters International which are established for helping people.

Jacob Felts is the author of http://www.anxietycure.org - Learn about anxiety and chest pain here.

How To Diagnose Anxiety Disorder

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Anxiety disorder affects more people than you think. Millions of people suffer from anxiety disorders however the majority of them keep in to themselves. That's why it's important for more people to learn what it is so they can help their friends and family. The best thing you can do is find a good experience doctor and therapist.

There is a fine line between anxiety and anxiety disorder. It is safe an often natural to feel anxious during the day for example, you are in a job interview and you're not sure if you going to get the job, so you try your best, even harder than usual. This type of anxiety keeps you on your toes. However some people with anxiety disorder might react differently in some situations. Anxiety attacks that leave you completely confused, dazed, scared, can often be the symptoms to anxiety disorder. If you know someone or if you feel that you are over reacting and always worried about small things in life you should consult a therapist.

When consulting a therapist or doctor make sure you check to see if they are experienced in treating patients with anxiety disorders because there are often confused with other disorders such as phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, or depression.

How a patient develops anxiety is often unknown however what is known is that everyone starts of the same way. When an individual is born they have an automatic response mechanism that keeps them out of harms way, ie pain or being hurt. For some reason as we grow older our perception and reaction to situation changes and this is how anxiety disorder is formed.

Symptoms of anxiety disorder is often described to increase your heart rate, pressure on the chest, light-headed, shaky, queasiness, urination or bowel disorders. The mental symptoms include:

* Being extremely scared * The need to escape to a safer place * People are starting at you * You may experience a delusion that you are sick You should always consult a professional doctor or therapist before coming to any conclusion that you have anxiety disorder. They will be able to better advise and prescribe a treatment that best suits your situation.

If you are looking for anxiety disorder help or anxiety treatment then http://www.anxietytreatmentcritic.com can help you

When Someone You Know Struggles With Depression And Anxiety

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What do you do when someone you know has to deal with persistent fears, anxieties or even depression? Well the first thing you need to do is to get the person to seek the services of a professional and/or counselor who can lead them in the right direction and give them the help they need. In addition, here are some other things you can do to help the person cope.

Learn as much as you can in managing anxiety and depression. There are many books and information that will educate you on how to deal with fear and anxiety. Share this information with the person who is struggling. Education is the key in finding the answers your looking for in managing your fears.

Be understanding and patient with the person struggling with their fears. Dealing with depression and anxiety can be difficult for the person so do not add more problems than what is already there.

The person struggling with the anxiety must realize that managing anxiety and fear takes practice. So when experiencing an anxiety related situation, begin to learn what works, what doesn't work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. As you do this, you will become better in dealing with your anxieties.

Don't forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and anxieties. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

Another thing to remember is that things change and events do not stay the same. For instance, you may feel overwhelmed today with your anxiety and feel that this is how you will feel the rest of the week or month. This isn't correct. No one can predict the future with 100 Percent accuracy. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can't predict which can be used to your advantage. You never know when the help and answers you are looking for will come to you.

As a Layman, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears. When your fears and anxieties have the best of you, seek help from a professional. The key is to be patient, take it slow, and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear" an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?

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Margaret Paul, Ph.d

 The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com

 What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 728
Category: Self Improvement

What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

As a counselor, I am often asked, Can drugs be helpful for anxiety and depression? The answer I give is Yes and No.

Yes, drugs may be useful for short-term help. No, drugs are not a good long-term solution.

Anxiety and depression are not caused by a lack of drugs. Drugs do not heal the underlying causes of anxiety and depression. However, when drugs are temporarily used to give a person a window of relief to do the inner work necessary to heal the underlying causes, they can be useful.

Anxiety and depression generally have two major underlying causes - emotional and physical.

THE PHYSICAL CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Our bodies go into imbalance when we do not eat well or have enough healthy exercise. Our bodies are not made to handle the unnatural substances found in processed food. When we overload our bodies with chemicals, pesticides, sugar, and devitalized foods, our bodies become depleted of vital nutrients and go into stress. Anxiety and depression can be the result of this physical depletion and resulting stress.

Our bodies are designed to thrive on the food and water that God gave us pure, clean, organic, unaltered food and water. If you take drugs for anxiety and depression and do not clean up your diet and get proper exercise, you are just using a Band Aid for a gaping wound.

THE EMOTIONAL CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Emotionally, anxiety is caused by dysfunctional thoughts thoughts that are not true. For example, if you tell yourself that you are not good enough or you have to be perfect, you will likely feel anxious. Thoughts of not being good enough and having to be perfect are generally focused on our outer qualities of looks and performance, rather than on the inner qualities of kindness, compassion, and gratitude. When we choose to be kind, loving and compassionate with ourselves and others, we feel good about ourselves. When we choose gratitude for what we do have rather than dwell on what we dont have, we create inner peace. Kindness and gratitude are wonderful antidotes to anxiety!

Anxiety is always a sign that we are telling ourselves a lie. The truth creates peace inside, while lies create fear and anxiety. This is a sure-fire way of knowing what is true and what is not true!

Emotionally, depression is caused by not taking good care of ourselves. If we ignore our needs, dont speak up for ourselves, judge ourselves, and make others responsible for our feelings, the result may be depression. If you have a child whom you ignore and judge, that child will likely be depressed. The same occurs on the inner level when we ignore and judge our own inner child. Putting yourself last and taking care of everyone else but yourself may cause you to feel unworthy and depressed.

There is little point in taking drugs for anxiety and depression without attending to your dysfunctional thinking and to how you are treating yourself. However, if you take drugs for a short time and give yourself the opportunity to do your inner work, they may be helpful. Many of the people I work with find that as soon as they start taking good care of themselves, they dont like the effect of the drugs. They dont like the fact that the drugs take the edge off their feelings. They find that, rather than wanting to be numbed out, they want to feel all of their feelings deeply, both the highs and the lows. The more they learn to take responsibility for their feelings by attending to their thoughts and needs, the more they want to feel all of their feelings. They discover that, while drugs may take the edge off pain, they also take the edge off joy.

Most of the people I work with can avoid drugs completely by learning to take loving care of themselves, both physically and emotionally. Many of the people who practice the Inner Bonding process that we teach find Inner Bonding to be far more powerful in healing anxiety and depression than drugs.

If you are a person who does not want to learn to take personal responsibility for your pain and joy, then drugs may be a way out for you. But if you want to feel true peace and joy, drugs are not the answer.
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com

What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
 Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 728
Category: Self Improvement

What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

As a counselor, I am often asked, Can drugs be helpful for anxiety and depression? The answer I give is Yes and No.

Yes, drugs may be useful for short-term help. No, drugs are not a good long-term solution.

Anxiety and depression are not caused by a lack of drugs. Drugs do not heal the underlying causes of anxiety and depression. However, when drugs are temporarily used to give a person a window of relief to do the inner work necessary to heal the underlying causes, they can be useful.

Anxiety and depression generally have two major underlying causes - emotional and physical.

THE PHYSICAL CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Our bodies go into imbalance when we do not eat well or have enough healthy exercise. Our bodies are not made to handle the unnatural substances found in processed food. When we overload our bodies with chemicals, pesticides, sugar, and devitalized foods, our bodies become depleted of vital nutrients and go into stress. Anxiety and depression can be the result of this physical depletion and resulting stress.

Our bodies are designed to thrive on the food and water that God gave us pure, clean, organic, unaltered food and water. If you take drugs for anxiety and depression and do not clean up your diet and get proper exercise, you are just using a Band Aid for a gaping wound.

THE EMOTIONAL CAUSES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Emotionally, anxiety is caused by dysfunctional thoughts thoughts that are not true. For example, if you tell yourself that you are not good enough or you have to be perfect, you will likely feel anxious. Thoughts of not being good enough and having to be perfect are generally focused on our outer qualities of looks and performance, rather than on the inner qualities of kindness, compassion, and gratitude. When we choose to be kind, loving and compassionate with ourselves and others, we feel good about ourselves. When we choose gratitude for what we do have rather than dwell on what we dont have, we create inner peace. Kindness and gratitude are wonderful antidotes to anxiety!

Anxiety is always a sign that we are telling ourselves a lie. The truth creates peace inside, while lies create fear and anxiety. This is a sure-fire way of knowing what is true and what is not true!

Emotionally, depression is caused by not taking good care of ourselves. If we ignore our needs, dont speak up for ourselves, judge ourselves, and make others responsible for our feelings, the result may be depression. If you have a child whom you ignore and judge, that child will likely be depressed. The same occurs on the inner level when we ignore and judge our own inner child. Putting yourself last and taking care of everyone else but yourself may cause you to feel unworthy and depressed.

There is little point in taking drugs for anxiety and depression without attending to your dysfunctional thinking and to how you are treating yourself. However, if you take drugs for a short time and give yourself the opportunity to do your inner work, they may be helpful. Many of the people I work with find that as soon as they start taking good care of themselves, they dont like the effect of the drugs. They dont like the fact that the drugs take the edge off their feelings. They find that, rather than wanting to be numbed out, they want to feel all of their feelings deeply, both the highs and the lows. The more they learn to take responsibility for their feelings by attending to their thoughts and needs, the more they want to feel all of their feelings. They discover that, while drugs may take the edge off pain, they also take the edge off joy.

Most of the people I work with can avoid drugs completely by learning to take loving care of themselves, both physically and emotionally. Many of the people who practice the Inner Bonding process that we teach find Inner Bonding to be far more powerful in healing anxiety and depression than drugs.

If you are a person who does not want to learn to take personal responsibility for your pain and joy, then drugs may be a way out for you. But if you want to feel true peace and joy, drugs are not the answer.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

How To Help Your Child With First Day Anxiety

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Summer vacation is coming to a close. All the trips, fun activities, and camps are soon to be wonderful memories. Hopefully, your child or children had a great period of down time and are refreshed and ready for a new and eventful school year.

I know many parents are quite ready for the new and eventful school year. As much as we love our children, they can be exhausting for some parents. Sometimes the down time the summer vacation offers breeds some unexpected and even undesirable behaviors. Whatever the case, school starting brings a pleasant reprieve for many parents.

Happy Day, The first day of school is just around the corner. What do we do next as responsible parents? Run to the store to buy all the necessities to have a successful student. The clothes, tools of the trade, everything that could possible be necessary. We help them pack that bag and send them on their way.

One major thing many parents tend to forget for whatever reason.

You may have prepared your little one with all the material items he or she may need, but how about the head? Yes, the head and I don't mean what's on top. I mean the inside. Their beautiful head may very well be filled with a load of anxiety.

For some children this anxiety can be very real and overwhelming. For some, it's healthy. For some children however, the anxiety of the beginning of school can be terrifying. Many different situations that may seem small to adults can be extremely difficult for some children.

For the sake of empathy, I'll give two examples. First, the simple act of getting on a school bus and finding a place to sit can be terrifying. If your child is not the most popular or even close, he or she may not know many of the other students on that bus.

The act of having to walk down that isle on the bus while everyone watches and then try to find a seat to share can be sickening for some children. Of course, this happens first thing in your child's day so this could have an impact on the rest of the day.

OK, maybe not the rest of the day. Maybe just until lunch time. This is the second example I promised you. For some children, the act of trying to get place to sit while eating lunch can be very difficult as well. Try to imagine having to walk into a room and find a place to sit when you are not a confident child. It's easy if when you walk into the room and the others start yelling your name but that doesn't happen very often for the average child, let alone the quite child that may not have many friends.

Based on my own experience, these are very real, uncomfortable situations for some children that should not be minimized.

What can you do for your child? How to help your child with that first day anxiety? I'll tell you. Here are some proven ideas. Talk to your child about these scenarios. Make sure your child knows he or she is not alone when it comes to understanding how difficult these situations are. Try to instill a sense of control which will ease the sense of anxiety. It won't get rid of the problem, but a sense of control empowers people including children.

Give your child real control over the situation by sharing a few concrete suggestions to use that he/she is comfortable with. Suggestions that your child feels they contributed. Make sure your child has much of the say and is comfortable with the solutions that will be used.

The first day may be exciting for some. Remember, it may not be so exciting for others. Instead it can be a head filled with anxiety based on lack of control.

Lets wish for the best for all our children.

Frank W. Thatcher Jr., an experienced educator specializing in many areas such as behavior modifications, emotional challenges, and parenting issues. He has assisted many in setting goals and experiencing success for themselves and their children. His website providing proven materials which promote success... http://www.onlineshoppersmarket.com/parenting1.html

Anger: Harness its power to tame anxiety

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Is fear of public speaking costing you vital career advancement and opportunities? Learn practical exercises for using anger constructively to manage performance anxiety.
Note: I managed to have a successful career in the Theatre and as a teacher of acting prior to my present calling as a coach. AND I had performance anxiety and full-blown, diagnosed Panic Disorder the whole time. These exercises and observations are field- tested by yours truly! May they bring you peace, freedom, and empowerment.

"Anger as a gift?! You're kidding, right?" you might be saying. "I'm trying to GET RID OF anger, not walk smack into it!."

Fact is, many of us work in environments that discourage the expression of feelings and emotions, especially so-called "negative" ones, such as anger. And rightly so, to a certain extent. The upside of that coin is that we all want a civil, pleasant workplace, safe from ranting, raving abuse.

But where's the balance between an abusive environment and a repressive one? When we feel we must stifle our true feelings, avoid discord or risk being labeled "not a team player;" when we swallow beliefs not congruent with leadership,and put on a happy face day in and day out, we are betraying ourselves in a fundamental way. The result of "stuffing" our true feelings --- not speaking our truth ---- often shows up in the form of panic attacks or generalized anxiety.

Anger is an emotion many of us have been taught to control, perhaps leading us to believe (consciously or unconsciously, that even having the feeling of anger let alone acting it out, is BAD! But in service of not being hurtful toward others, we sometimes go overboard and suppress even our awareness of the feeling of anger.

What is that costing you?

Panic attacks? Compromised personal integrity? Performance anxiety that prevents you from moving forward in your career?

Try these powerful exercises for using anger constructively to re-claim your power:

1. Move the energy through your body The energy you're NOT ex-pressing has to go somewhere. If you keep it locked up it WILL scream to get out (and rightly so!) in the form of a panic attack. So when you feel panic rising, acknowledge the feeling and honor it as a vital messenger from your Higher Power. Move to a safe, private place (your office, the broom closet, restroom...) and imagine the object of your anger and/or fear in front of you. Now, GET MAD and box, beat, and punch the daylights out of it for a full minute! Feel better?

2. This week, raise your awareness: Count the number of times you feel panicked, angry or resentful and record it in your journal. Note what you were doing, where you were, who you were with,how you reacted, the impact of your choice of reaction, and how your body felt. Notice any patterns?

3. This week, answer this question: What am I NOT saying to set a healthy boundary for myself? And then...Yep... you guessed it - SAY IT! Think about it first, hold the other party and yourself in big love and compassion, and speak your truth when you're calm and clear. Notice the impact.

4. Imagine this 3 times a day for 3 weeks: - Practice this at a time when you are NOT in the midst of a panic attack. It will help you later. - Get quiet and undisturbed for about 3 minutes. - Check into your body-mind-soul and imagine the energy of fear and/or anger coursing through your veins. - Imagine it turning from hot molten lava --- sluggish, heavy, exhausting --- to crystal clear water --- beautiful, flowing, cool, refreshing, energizing. - Call to mind what often triggers your panic and pour your cool, clear water over the "problem." What do you notice?

She teaches successful professionals how to break free from performance anxiety and move ahead in their careers. Look for her e-book, Pull the Plug on Panic: Speak With Confidence, and Keep Your Armpits Dry! due out August 2003. Learn more at http://www.cdvcoaching.com./

How to Cope With Stress and Anxiety

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Among the hardest parts of living in the modern world is stress and anxiety. With worries about work, the environment, the economy, natural disasters, terrorism, and the general state of the world, it seems that there is no end to the number of things to worry about. Though we cannot control many of these things, they still weigh on our minds and cause us stress and anxiety. However, despite these concerns, we should try to avoid stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety are, at their hearts, mental problems. They are conditions in which the mind is racing and constantly circling around certain concerns. The concerns may be seemingly mundane, but the concerns keep recurring until they push out all the other thoughts in the brain and create their own towering mass of worry. And this tower is, in itself self-propagating simply because stress and anxiety tend to create themselves because stress and anxiety cause the mind to condition itself to stress and anxiety.

There is research to suggest that the mind gets used to stress and anxiety and, once it is conditioned, it will quickly return to stress and anxiety. In fact, there is some evidence that shows that stress conditioning may actually begin when we are too young to do anything about it. Children who face a great deal of stress will find their minds altered such that they will quickly return to a state of stress at the slightest provocation. It is almost as though the mind misses the state of stress and anxiety and wants to return to it once it has found the state.

Unfortunately, this creates serious problems not only for the mind, but also the body. Stress and anxiety put a great many demands on the human body. It causes headaches, high blood pressure, ulcers, sleep problems, immune system deficiencies and can even swell the joints, which can cause severe problems with conditions such as arthritis. As well, stress and anxiety can result in depression, memory problems, and even alcohol and drug abuse for those who suffer from stress and anxiety regularly. Thus, stress and anxiety are not merely problems of the mind, but they are problems of the mind that can cause problems in the body. The mind does, in surprising ways, control the body. And a mind that is overly taxed can lead to a body that is overly taxed.

Thus, you must understand that you can also control your mind. Stress and anxiety do not need to take over your mind. In fact, you can control how your mind responds to the problems that arise in life.

Remember that you can decide not to be stressed. You do not have to be anxious. You can change your mind and let things slide away. Yes, there are many things in this world to worry about. However, worrying about them will not change many aspects of the modern world. Constantly thinking about work, the environment, the economy, or politics will not change them. Instead, resolve to change things that you can change and do not worry about what you cannot control.

The thing to keep in mind is a sense of perspective. Yes, work is stressful, but do you need to worry about being attacked by a lion when you leave the office? When you go shopping for groceries, do you need to think about whether there will be a pack of marauding barbarians in the produce section? Hopefully, the answer is, "No." Thus, you do not have the same concerns as our forebears and you should keep that in mind. Life is pretty safe these days and the so-called "Age of Stress" is entirely of our own creation. We are stressed about things that we decide to be stressed about. And the things that we are stressed about really aren't that important in the long-run scheme of things.

Stress and anxiety are, seemingly, enough to worry about on their own. So don't fall into the trap of keeping them going. Keep life in perspective, keep yourself on an even keel and remember that you can control your own mind. If you can manage to do that, stress and anxiety to not need to take over your life.

LowerYourStress.com is a categorized resource directory for everything to do with stress. Get a free ebook to help with your stress levels: http://www.loweryourstress.com/stress-book.html

5 Ways To Reduce Bill Payment Anxiety

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One repeated source of financial stress and anxiety for many people is the monthly payment of their bills. A friend of mine refers to his monthly dilemma as having too much month at the end of his money. I also know couples that refer to bill paying days as fight night because of the tension and strain it can add to a relationship. As it turns out, most of the anxiety associated with paying your bills is primarily a result of being reactive instead of prepared for your incoming bills. Developing a process or system to organize and pay your bills can actually be pretty simple if youre realistic about what you hope to accomplish and allow yourself the appropriate time to get comfortable using your new approach. Here are five ways to help you better manage your monthly bills:

1) Location, Location. Location:

Identify a specific place in the house where all financial related papers will be located. Ideally youll want to purchase a file box or cabinet, but if finances are tight and youre just looking for a starting point, a kitchen drawer, folder, or shoebox will work for now. Remember, just as the rule goes in real estate, location is a critical factor so make sure you choose a location that is accessible and close to where you open your mail.

2) Use Your Scout Training:

Be prepared! The famous motto of the Boys and Girls Scouts of America is a great way to combat bill anxiety. Have return labels, stamps, envelopes, a letter opener, calculator, and any other bill paying essentials available and ready for use.

3) Practice Makes Perfect

Develop a daily routine for opening mail at or near the area you designated to store your financial papers and supplies. When you open your mail remove the clutter that often comes with your bills and just keep the bill and return envelope. Then group your bills based on due dates. After using your approach for a couple weeks, review your progress and make adjustments as necessary.

4) K.I.S.S.

Youre probably familiar with this acronym and for the purpose of better managing your bills, consider this simple twist Keep It Simple & Specific. Establish regular days and times to pay your bills. Consider identifying 3 to 4 days per month that you can designate to sit down and pay your bills. Try the 5th, 15th, and 25th to start.

5) Extra Credit:

When you sit down to pay your bills, take a moment to review your records for any discrepancies or fraud. Develop a list of your regular bills that will allow you to record your payment amounts, payment date, payment type, and any follow up that may be necessary. After paying a bill, write on the invoice the date you wrote the check and the check number used. Also include account numbers on your check

Its important to remember that developing methods to reduce financial stress and anxiety is simple and inexpensive way to feel better about your financial future. Its a sign of financial maturity and a key ingredient in the quest for true financial success.

You can learn more about Robert Laura's real life financial solutions and bill organizer at www.financialkarma.com

Robert Laura is a money management expert, speaker, author, and creator of the Cash Flow Organizer System R. You can contact him at robertslaura@financialkarma.com or learn more at www.financialkarma.com.